After thinking more about perfection (see previous post) I realize I’ve been hard on myself, not having the patience I need when trying to change things I want to change about myself. When working to lose weight or learn something new or try to create some new good habits, it doesn’t all happen immediately. It is hard to wait and be consistent and put in the time and steady effort! I have noticed small changes, and for the first time i am really truly thrilled with these small differences. It used to be that I’d think “oh well not there yet, not ready yet… don’t have it yet” and dismiss the intermediate steps that get you to a goal. Just brush aside the progress as if it wasn’t enough…

Meanwhile I’ve been trying to learn something new — got a “for dummies” book and everything. Yesterday I was super-frustrated trying to figure it out and just about blew my top. Why is it so hard to get my mind around? Why can’t i “get it” right away? I have to remember to be patient and give myself a chance. I’m not used to things being so hard to learn.

I am used to being frustrated about weight and weight loss. That is definitely something that has not been easy for me. I know all the rules and what/how to do it but for some reason it is very slow, painstaking and won’t seem to budge. I push harder, no go. Something seems to be in my way. Is it my impatience? Will it take me 2-3 years to get to my goal? I would rather it be 2 months. I have to step back and take a good look at the process. I have to focus on the little changes that are happening. How am I feeling? I feel great. Instead of thinking something negative about myself I have to get some positive affirmations going, and look for the little changes and appreciate them!

Driving my daughter to school today we both looked out the window at an open field and saw a bush growing there wildly. I don’t remember it being there the day before… it was a gorgeous wild bush with sunflowers growing on it, dozens of them. Beautiful. Just taking a moment between the two of us to laugh and say “hey that’s not a weed, it’s a beautiful sunflower!” made me so happy. Sometimes it is just the details, the little things, the little changes that we see that we need to appreciate.

I am trying to remind myself to be thankful for the little bit of progress each day. It’s like raindrops that will eventually add up…